Lights
by Sparrows Magician
Summary: Takes place in the 'Bliss' universe. While Merlin is away there is only one way to instantly communicate with him...and when his daughter Clara uses it...longing for his family overcomes the great sorcerer.


She was running down the hall. Poor little Clara had another nightmare and now she was running as fast as her small feet could carry her, her eyes were closed as she pushed forward. Tears were falling from her face, she was shaking from fear.

About three weeks ago her Papa and Uncle Arthur had left on a trip. They did not give exact details just a trip with the army…Clara had sensed danger but her Papa and Uncle were strong, and the young sorceress believed them invincible. After tonight's dream, however, she was not so sure.

She should go directly to her mother, but what if that was not enough time? What if she sent the message then told her mother? Mama would be proud that she was smart enough not to waste time…right? She ran faster, Papa had to know what was coming.

As she was running and as she was sprinting a light caught her eye. Her feet slowed to a stop and she was overwhelmed with curiosity. The hour had to be well past midnight and there was a light coming from her father and mother's chambers. She knew she should send out the message…but she was five and curiosity always won out over fear.

Slowly she approaches the door and peers inside. Her Papa and Mama had both warned her never to do this, that it was their personal room and to knock before entering. Unfortunately, the little girl couldn't help herself. She cracks the door slightly, and was met with…nothing. The room was completely empty. Her mother was not even in her bed.

She was about to call out when she saw a shadow move behind the door to the other part of her parents chamber. Clara took cautious steps toward the magical door that her parents always kept locked. They said when her and her brothers come of age they will be let inside.

A smile came to the young girls face because she knew the password…she overheard her Papa once when he entered the room, and miraculously he did not realize his daughter had been present in the other room. The words fell from her lips and the lock silently clicks open.

She pushes the door open enough for her to see. The room itself was actually simpler then she imagined, not as grand as the young girl hoped, and she pouts a little. This is what she has been waiting for these last, _long, _five years? Ridiculous.

The room had a bookshelf that reached the ceiling filled with leather backs, a rug, a chair, a table and a window. The only real oddities were her mother, sitting and reading one of the books while sipping tea, and a single candle that burns in the window.

The candle itself was simple as well, a white wick, orange flame, but the holder was made of dark blue crystal. The thing that made the candle special, in young Clara's eyes, was her mother's continuous gaze at the object. She watches her mother, high priestess Morgana, continuously spare looks at the candle as if it would get up and dance away at any second.

Sure enough, a few minutes later the candle turns blue…a deep sapphire color like her father's eyes. Her mama looks over at the candles change and puts the book down. It was at this point the child noticed her mama was still in her day cloths. The situation was even more curious now.

Shouldn't her mother haven been dressed for bed hours ago? Morgana hunches over the flame and leaning on her elbow. Clara watches in amazement as her mother's hand comes over the flame and seems to burn her palm. Her beautiful mama just stands there, her jade eyes turning gold.

Clara loves it when her parents do magic. Her father taught her long ago the powers of the flame. Fire seems to be the element she favors. As she watches her mother she decided to take a seat hoping something else would happen, but mostly nothing, just small whispers and nothing Clara can hear.

Clara sat there for over two hours watching her mama. _Boring_ the young girl thinks. It seems to take an eternity for her mother to stand up and move across the room. The young sorceress let out a soft squeak before running out of her parents bedchambers as quietly as possible and into the hall, hopefully unseen.

This mystery did not end. She sighs, it was well past her bedtime and she knew her mother would awaken her early for lessons.

I guess she'll send message to her father about the killer chipmunks in the morning.

* * *

It only happened two more times before Clara eventually got caught by Morgana. The second time she saw her mother perform with the magic candle was almost the same as the first. She stood over the candle while it burned her hand and whispered softly and Clara couldn't hear anything.

The second time…the second time Clara did not stay long. Her mama was actually pacing the room the second time she snuck a peek. Morgana was dressed in a long sheer nightgown and the young babe saw she was naked underneath. Her eyes bulged, her mama was stunning. The young girl sighed, hoping one day to be as beautiful as her mama.

Morgana's hair was pinned up, every last piece. The child caught sight of the mark on her neck. It was purple and red and she only ever wore her hair like that for when Papa would return from his missions. At this point he had been gone five weeks. She missed her papa.

Her mother did not look nervous or ashamed in the sheer robe. She looked…powerful. The smile on her soft ruby lips spoke volumes of her authority. When the flame turned blue tonight her mama actually brought the chair over to the candle.

"Tonight you are mine my husband."

That was all Clara heard before she saw one of her mother's hands going into her lap and the other hover over the flame. The little girl ran from the room, last time she heard those words her parents had locked her and her brothers out of their room for a whole afternoon. They said it was their special "mama and papa" time.

The third time…well the third time she didn't even make it through the door.

As she approaches her parent's bedchambers, quietly as ever, she and as she was slowly reaching for the knob…the door flies open revealing her mother, a smug look etched in her face and hand on her hip. _Busted._

The child retracts a bit…the wrath of her mother is never a pretty sight. Clara has to think fast…why she is here in the middle of the night…ah! She flings herself at Morgana's skirts and clings to her legs.

"Mama I'm so scared I had a bad dream!"

Crafty isn't she? She even musters up a few crocodile tears for good measure. Her mama pats her head for a moment, sighs, then crouches down to Clara's level.

"Is that why you've been sneaking into mine and your father's chambers these last few days?"

_Super Busted._ The small child wipes her tears and looks down ashamed…she should have known that her mama knew. Mama always knows.

"I'm sorry Mama." She holds her head in disgrace…her ears poking out of her hair a little. Poor child got them from her father.

"Clara that was very naughty of you. You know the rules about every ones rooms."

"But Mama I had a bad dream! I was gonna send Papa a raven then I saw a light and you were in here with magic and…"

She shakes her hands in an attempt to emphasize her point, to be met with a stern look from Morgana. Her mother hates excuses. She looks down in embarrassment. The tears are real now, she hates disappointing Mama. Morgana relents after two minutes of Clara sniffling and brings her into her arms.

"Clara, you must always tell me of your dreams. You know I will help you with them."

Clara is crying on Morgana's shoulder now. A soft hiccup escapes her as she dries her tears on her mother's red velvet gown. Morgana rubs soothing circles on her back.

"I miss Papa, Mama." She clings to her mother more.

"I know my little princess…I miss him too."

"I want to send him a raven…do you think he has time to send one back? We've only had one message from him Mama."

The girl toys with her mother's necklace as she asks this. The ravens are to be used only under military and dire situations. They are not a messaging system. The ravens were created from strong magic and replacing one takes a lot of work on both Merlin and Morgana's part.

Morgana looks over at the stars and realizes how late it has become. Clara will not sleep well tonight…none of her children do after they are punished. She rubs her back and thinks…maybe this is as good of a time as any…

"Come with me my little phoenix, let me show you something."

Clara smiles a little at the nickname. When her papa caller her that the first time she was elated. In fact she liked it so much she demanded her mama call her it as well. Morgana was so amused she relented…she was three at the time.

Morgana carries Clara into the other room and makes a note to herself to change the password. She summons the chair over to the flame and sits Clara on her lap.

"Now Clara when I tell you to, I need you to close your eyes and take a deep breath."

"Yes Mama."

She was snuggling on her mother's shoulder, her thumb somehow finding its way into her mouth for comfort while her other hand tugs on her ear. She watches the flame turn blue and looks at her mother in awe, magic was so amazing!

"Now Clara there is something else I need you to do…it will hurt a little."

Morgana gave her only daughter a sympathetic look. To her, this part of the ritual was easy. To a child of five it could be very painful.

"It's ok Mama. I'm brave."

Clara smiles and Morgana returns the gesture.

"Give me your hand."

She gave Clara the slightest prick on her finger and watches as her daughter scrunches up her face in an attempt to not cry out. The scene was actually quite amusing. She did the same to herself and allowed drops of blood from both of them to fall on the flame.

"Deep breath Clara."

"Yes Mama."

* * *

She felt the earth move and suddenly she was not in her parent's room anymore. When her eyes open she sees that she is in a field clutching to her mama. She was wearing the same garments she was back in Camelot and her little blue nightgown blows in the wind.

The place was indescribable. The fields were the most luscious green, the water the deepest blue, the trees were filled to the brim with leaves, and the fields were covered in many different kinds of flowers it could be mistaken for a rainbow.

"May I get down now Mama?" Clara asked politely.

"Manners matter" her mother always drilled into Clara's ever thick skull.

"In a moment, darling…look." Morgana points in front of them.

"Morgana!"

She looks across the field, at the person shouting, she starts to cry. Tears were pouring down her cheeks and she couldn't wiggle out of her mother's grasp fast enough. With her feet finally on the ground she started to run as fast as her small legs would carry her.

"Papa!"

She calls out and nearly knocks him over when she reached his legs. She can't see through her tears, but she feels him lift her up and onto his side. She clings to his neck crying with all her might, and she feels his tears in her hair.

"I missed you papa…"

She cries harder into his shoulder.

"Oh I've missed you too my little phoenix…so…so much."

He rubs soothing circles on her back in an attempt to calm both of their beating hearts. Five weeks is too long of a time to not set eyes on his family. His daughter has grown so much. He looks up to see Morgana approaching, a sad smile adorning her features.

"You said you saw her sneaking into the room…I guess I owe you a gold coin when I get back."

"I thought after all this time you would not be foolish enough to bet against me?"

"I'm still holding onto one day winning my love."

He attempts to send her a cheeky grin through his tears, and fails miserably. His hands running through his daughters long locks. Morgana comes up and starts to kiss his tears away. He moves his head to give her a chaste kiss, all he can manage with Clara in his arms.

Morgana's hand comes up to rub her child's back. A single tear escaping her eyes…she hates to see her children in such a state. Merlin wonders how many nights has she watched them cry themselves to sleep. He looks at her now, the thought unsettling.

"I seemed to have left you with the harder job my wife."

She smiles at this, hugging his side.

"It is alright…you have a strong family."

"Papa I miss you…please come home. I promise to be good and not sneak into your rooms anymore." He chuckles.

"It is not that easy princess."

"Why not? Papa please!" She sniffles and snuggles into his side.

"Papa and Uncle Arthur are still on our mission. We think it should take no more than two more weeks…and when we get home I promise we'll spend a whole day together, just you and me."

She seems to settle a little at this promise.

"Pinky promise?" The girl holds out her small finger and Merlin takes it with his own.

"I pinky promise."

He kisses the top of her head, then attempts to hand her to Morgana but Clara clings harder.

"No Papa!"

"I have to go sweetie."

"No Papa please!"

"It is late Clara. I have to ride out in a few hours with the King, Papa needs his rest."

"But Papa…"

She cries harder, the moment rough on everyone. Morgana looks at Merlin, tears running freely but she attempts to will them away. Merlin brings his free hand up to Morgana's face and brushes a tear from her skin.

"Morgana I am so sorry."

She grabs the hand touching her face. He receives a sad smile.

"I know it is your duty Merlin, I support you, your family supports you…it doesn't make the situation less hard."

He closes his eyes…he hates this so much. After a few more minutes of coaxing, a kiss and hug from Merlin, Clara finally goes into her mother's arms. Before she can even adjust the child Merlin pulls her into a fiery kiss. The longing speaking volumes between them.

"Come home." She whispers to him.

"I will." His words tickling her lips.

He pats Clara's back one more time, kisses her head and watching them walk off.

* * *

Merlin wakes up at camp, the green flame engulfing his hand, and the tears will not stop falling from his eyes.

* * *

Morgana is sitting with Clara in the small room…wondering if she made the right decision as she rocks her baby. She is making a small shh sound in an attempt to calm her down.

"It's gonna be ok Clara." She soothes.

"I miss Papa."

"I know…he misses you too."

"More than Balinor and Will?" Morgana laughs at this.

"He misses you all equally my little phoenix."

Clara, surprisingly, accepts her mother's answer. A soft sigh escapes her lips and Morgana sees this as a chance for bed. She picks Clara up intending to bring her back to the small girl's chambers. When she passes her bed, however, she sees her daughter might need some help with sleeping. So she moves to her bed, nestles Clara next to her and both women promptly fall asleep.

* * *

"It is all about the light Clara."

Her mother told her this the next morning. Clara was the only one in the family who was not named after a family member or close friend. Balinor and Tom received their names from their respective grandfathers and Will's name came from an old friend of her Papa's, but her name was original to her. When she was four she asked her Papa why and cried that she was not named after an ancestor.

"Your name means 'bright' Clara, because you are the brightness in the darkest moments to me and your mama." Her papa told her.

Her father also explained being an Alwin was a very special honor. They were the first of their house, an Alwin is "a magical being" and every single person in their family had their own gifts.

"It is all about words Clara."

Words in any spell had meaning from the Old Religion. Her mother and father taught her that lesson long ago. Their house was strong and powerful. The foundation of their lives is magic. Still…she hated the duties required of her. Sitting like a princess, learning rituals…missing her papa for months at a time.

In the early light of day she was nestled up to her mama's side, Morgana playing with her hair, and Clara feeling at peace. It had been four weeks since she talked to her papa. When two weeks hit and he was not home Clara had run to her mother crying and calling her papa a liar.

"He said he would be home Clara, he hoped for only two more weeks but it seems it will be longer. Have faith he will return soon."

Morgana and Merlin long ago wished to never lie to their children. Truth was too important to them.

Since that night, two weeks ago, Clara had snuck into her mother's room every night. Her brothers know nothing of this, and would call Clara a baby if they found out.

Morgana picks Clara off the bed and they walk over to the window as they do every morning. Suddenly they heard the bells go off, signaling the return of the king.

Clara and Morgana's eyes met and Clara squeals in delight hugging her mother. Morgana's door burst open suddenly and in runs Rebecca.

"I need to get her ready quickly my lady."

Rebecca hugged Morgana in appreciation and the woman returns the sentiment as she hands off her baby. It was humorous watching Rebecca run while Clare climbs over her shoulder to wave at her mother.

Not a second later Angela walks through the door, Morgana's personal maid. The two ladies smiled and Angela quickly goes up to Morgana and embraces her in a hug.

"Congratulations my lady."

Morgana let a tear fall as she clings to Angela, a girl no older then the age of twenty-five.

"Thank you. Let get me ready to greet my husband."

* * *

She was standing with Gwen at the gates of Camelot to receive the King and High Sorcerer, both women exchanging excited glances. To Gwen's right stood Tom, proud at sixteen, only two years off going on missions with his father. To his right stood his four-year-old younger brothers Samuel and Henry holding hands, their younger sister Ygraine stood strong at the age of three as she held up the youngest, of two, Sara all looking out into the sunset. To Morgana's right her eldest Balinor stood proud at the age of nine in his armor his brother mirroring his image at seven. Clara stood at the end wriggling her fingers.

As a lady and a lord you are to wait until the horses meet you at the gate before you exchange pleasantries…the Alwin family does not seem to abide by this rule. The second Merlin's horse is in sight Clara only contains herself for a minute before darting off towards him.

Her brothers exchange surprised looks and turn their heads toward their mother, who has a smug smile plastered on her face. When she makes eye contact with them and cocks her head slightly. The boys take the bait, smile broadly at her, then at each other before sprinting off behind their sister.

Guinevere and her children stand idle and look to Morgana with wide eyes. The women breaths politeness and courtly duties, and she allows them to break composure in front of the peasantry. Morgana just smiles, today is not a day for court dictation.

Clara's feet carry her as fast as she can go. Her brothers easily catch up to her and grab her hands dragging her with them. She smiles gratefully and is received with glowing teeth from the two.

Ahead Merlin sees his children break dictation and suddenly he cannot help himself. He kicks his horse and is flying forward, leaving a bewildered King behind him. He needs to see his family _now_.

He rides faster until about five meters before he reaches his three children he slows the horse, jumps off and scoops them up into his arms and cries in their hair. He is met with kisses and hugs, I love yous and I missed yous. He really is such a girl…he knows his wife will tease him for this later.

They cling to him as he walks the last meter to the castle. The army passing him easily, he can't find it in himself to care. His eyes are focused on one being now, standing proud and elegant as ever, the white dress taunting him. Her hair is up, revealing the small mark he keeps branded on her skin.

As he walks forward, a child in each arm, one clinging to his leg he suppresses the tears. He must be strong here. She expects him to be strong. As they come face to face he smiles softly.

She goes to say something but their heads turn at a squealing Gwen. Arthur has her up in his arms and is twirling her around in circles. The queen is crying tears of joy for the return of her king Tom standing proud at her side, the other children trying to catch their father's legs.

Merlin puts his children down slowly as he faces his wife again.

"_My_ lady." He takes her hand and kisses her knuckles.

"_Milord_." Her eyes lock with his in challenge.

He never did win at this game. He suddenly grabs her neck and pulls her forward, his arm on the small of her back bringing her as close to him as possible when their lips meet. He kisses her for eternity but it is not enough, a man should never be denied his most favorite pastime…being in the presence of his wife.

When he releases her all his children are clinging to his boots and he is signaled to head up to the feast. He sends Morgana a dejected smile. He wants nothing more than to just be alone with his family tonight. He sighs and grabs her hand and Balinor's, his eldest is getting too tall. Will grabs his sister and the family proceeds inside, their heads held high.

* * *

The next morning Clara wakes up in her own bed, but is greeted by her father instead of Rebecca. She squeals as he picks her up and twirls her around.

"I promised you Clara and Papa time didn't I my little phoenix?"

She laughs and they play for the rest of the day with her father.

They both come home covered in mud, under the _light_ of the stars.

_**Fin.**_

**Yay I finished another one! Apart of the 'Bliss' universe. WHOO HOO!...well actually I finished editing this one...I have about 8 in my folder of unedited oneshots in this universe haha. I hope you enjoyed the Merlin/Morgana/Clara interactions, and hoped they weren't too OOC. I know they will be a little because its the future but I really wanted to keep their base personalities the same. Did i achieve it? I hope so!**

**Leave a review and I will love you:) Thanks guys!**


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